Friday, March 6, 2009

Medical Professionals

Not having anything better to do, my company instituted a company-wide drug test. Paperwork was sent to you in the mail, and you had to go to a lab near you to pee in a cup.

Peeing in a cup is old news for me, we did it often enough in the Navy. I dutifully looked up the closest location for the lab for me, and went. Apparently my company chose the cheapest(I doubt their rates were cheap, but Goddamn did the place look cheap), undermanned, anti-customer company out there. When I called for a appointment, all I got was a recorded message informing me of operating hours for drug screenings.

So, this morning I promptly drank a pot of coffee, a can of "Coke Zero", and a plastic bottle of Crystal Light(tm) so I wouldn't have to play the waiting game. I showed up when the drug screen started at 0800, promptly signed in(# 6 on sign in sheet, and I was the only one who checked the drug-screening test box). They didn't call me until 0930 and as I handed them my Driver's License and paperwork I was told "I would be called shortly". By then I was already sweating bullets and doing the dance.

1020 rolls around and the one person at the front desk starts turning people away because they will be breaking for 2 hours at 1100 for lunch(yup...). I walk up and ask if, by chance, my name was called and I missed it. The medical professional at the desk gives me the stink eye and says "you're next". Another 20 minutes pass, my name is finally called, it takes a mighty 5 minutes for the entire thing to get done, and I head off to work.

I wonder what bizarre triage system they had going, if any at all.

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