Monday, June 11, 2007

In Northern Virginia, eveng the jogging trails are bumper-to-bumper traffic

Believe it or not, and this will come as a shock to many of you, I have put on a few pounds since getting out of the navy. I know I know, you're thinking "Matt? Fat? That's un-possible!" Well shipmates, it's true. And 40 minutes on the elliptical just ain't cutting it. So I came up with an alternative, one that I think is better.

Not far from my place is Burke Lake Park, and I thought (temporally forgetting that summertime in Virginia makes my nose clog up and my eyes puffy. Huzzah) "What better than a 5 mile run/walk on a jogging trail along the lake?"

Well, I got about a mile before I started to feel it, and it was pure agony every step of the way. That's okay though, if I fell the masses of yuppies that had the same idea as me would break my fall. Assuming the angry, hissing Canadian Geese didn't get me. Or the cyclists clipping me. Why would I continue to subject myself to this?

Why, it would be because of the attractive urban professional chicas that also jog on said trail. See you tomorrow!

Friday, June 8, 2007

As I was.

I believe the term for what I'm feeling is Schadenfreude!

Thursday, June 7, 2007

This is an outrage

Chris Rock used to have this bit about OJ Simpson. His line was something like "If OJ was a bus driver instead of rich and famous, he wouldn't be OJ Simson, he would be "Orenthal the wife-murdering busdriver""

Sadly, it seems that once more the justice system has been made a mockery out of. Paris Hilton has been let out of prison for"undisclosed medical reasons". No doubt the whore thought she could tough it out and then decided that not getting gangbanged in a dirty bathroom stall nightly wasn't for her. Instead, she'll be wearing an electronic bracelet while under house arrest. Poor baby. I should be so lucky to be under house arrest at my mansion.

Of course, if I had gotten a DUI, I'd be in jail for a while and lost my job because I would have lost my clearances. Then again, my parents aren't wealthy socialites who are enraged that the judge rules that she has to be punished under the law.

I wonder what would have happened if she killed someone while under the influence. 6 days instead of 3

Monday, June 4, 2007

Cox or Cocks?

It wouldn't be Monday without horrible customer service.

So, first off I call the vendor my company sent me to for class on a certain 4-letter certification, and tell them I'm all set to schedule the tests for it. The woman on the phone, slurping something ever so loudly, goes "You have a voucher number?"

First, a little background. It was a nightmare trying to get a response from these guys(who my company had directed me to) just to sign up for the class, then finally the receptionist sends me an email stating that the class started on such and such date, and the tuition paid by my company included a voucher for all the tests. Of course, I came to found out that the start Date in the email was the second day of class, which put me behind, but whatever. They handed me the books, and class started. No indication that I was not suppose to be there.

So I respond to the lady on the phone "I never got a voucher number from you." To which she replied "Yes you did." A quick opening of my *.pst file proved that my original recollection was correct. "Well, I can't find any evidence of a voucher code for you."

"Fine, I'll pass this along to my company's HR folks. I'm sure they'll be real pleased to hear you're trying to charge me for something they already paid for."

"I'll call you back tomorrow." *click*

So basically, I think next cert I work on I'll just take the course at the community college and have the VA pay for it.

So, I get home and just to add to the fun, my Cable interweb crapped out. That is, to say, the splitter between my TV and modem once more died. Knowing that this would be the third damn time I replaced it on my own(as the phone reps mumbled something about coming out "sometime later in the week" and I didn't want to wait that long) I called them and told them "hey, the splitter is busted it. This will be the third time I've replaced it on my own, come out and replace it."

To which the woman on the other line said. "Let's go through some basic troubleshooting..."

Now, I personally hate asshole customers, but I was a bit of a one then. "Look, I've done this this and this. Bottom line, I can get Cable TV with the splitter, but not internet, and I only get internet with the modem plugged directly into the drop."

"Okay, we'll send someone out tomorrow, between 1500-1900*click*

If it wasn't for the fact that Cox Communication's internet was so damn great, I would have dropped them a long time ago.